Endometriosis is exhausting. If you have suspected or confirmed endometriosis you are well aware because your daily life is likely hampered by a range of symptoms. For those of us that are partners or spouses with endo warriors, it sucks too! They need all the support and care they can receive as people with endometriosis deserve comfort, care, and equal opportunities. We would know too.

If you haven’t read our about page, to make a short story shorter we are a duo where one of us is an endo warrior and the other a passionate endo supporter. I, the passionate partner, have found the journey of supporting my partner to be a journey of discovery filled with trials and joys. Speaking at large I have 3 general tips on how to care for your friend, loved one, and so on that has endometriosis. I hope they give some insight into what I found to be helpful, and remember everyone’s situation is different!

Tip 1: Be proactive.

Being proactive for your endo warrior partner might feel like studying for a test where you only were taught a small percentage of the materials beforehand. With symptoms ranging and related health problems often accompanying endometriosis, managing endo is a full-time effort. As a spouse or partner, being proactive also means having a general sense of preparedness for the different ways the day can go. For example, what self-care can you supply when there is a physical flair-up; how will you be emotionally available during the exhausting stretches of unanswered symptoms; or what small acts of kindness can you perform to constantly validate and show your love for your partner?

Tip 1.1: Research

Researching without being prompted about your partner’s health journey is like saying “I love you.” It’s important to know symptoms, find ways to improve their lifestyle, find resources, and be able to break down the complexities of endo from a different angle between how you and your partner understand endo. Research could be listening to podcasts at work, watching YouTube videos to learn new massaging techniques or stretches, or building out your web of support by finding new endo warriors on social media. If you need help finding resources, PLEASE take advantage of our Endo Bunny Data Base here which has links to dozens of resources that are helping us through our journey.

Tip 1.2: Small Surprises

There will be highs and lows in life, and with endometriosis, you can be sure those lows are low (in our experience… yours may differ). Learn your partner’s love language and have ideas of how to support them in times of stress and exhaustion. This is so, so important as stress really can make an impact on preventing the body from healing generally but also can increase endo flare-up symptoms (resource?). If their love language gifts then have 3-5 small gifts wrapped and ready or if it’s words of affirmation then leave sticky notes around a car or home. If it’s quality time have access to their favorite movie, drink, and snack. Assess your partner’s likes or problem-solve for their dislikes and approach these by being ready or proactively doing on a daily basis. For me, I love making sure my partner has a full cup of tea at all times! (See some electric kettle options here and here…these are affiliate links!)

Tip 2: Be patient.

Endometriosis is truly a wild ride with its symptoms, the emotional throttling, and the unpredictable nature of endo. It can be so easy to feel like we know what is best for our loved one with endo when we haven’t lived a day with endometriosis. Or it can be really easy to be selfish with our time by prioritizing entertainment, distractions, or lesser important goals. Of course, none of these things are bad but being a partner to an endo warrior means your plans and desires will get interrupted by mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical pain.

Being patient is an enduring quality and one of the best ways to say “I love you” as love is an action so embody it! There is nothing more your partner wants than to not feel this way and figure their symptoms out. No one wants their day thrown of course, so when you want to watch sports or go see friends but priorities have to shift do so gracefully. Start by taking a deep breath, asking questions, listening, leaning into your proactive measures, and thinking outside of the box. This is a journey that takes patience on a short and long-term scale.

As a parting takeaway on being patient, I have found a personal 2-3-minute daily routine to act as a reminder has been highly beneficial. I have found doing the Big 6 while going over some printed reminders of quotes and passages has helped me in times when I needed to practice patience.

Tip 3: Do what you can so they can focus on healing.

Unfortunately, stress and endometriosis oftentimes go hand in hand with endo flares correlating with high stress (see study here, study here, and Heal Endo article here). So, when you’re endo partner is just starting their endometriosis journey or trying to research symptoms and become overwhelmed that might prevent them from healing. Especially for those working or living in high-stress environments, those with trauma, or those struggling with other mental/physical dilemmas, endometriosis symptoms could worsen. This is why it is so important to step in for them and take the weight off their shoulders however you can so they can focus on healing.

Here are some examples of what you can do for those with endometriosis to make their life easier:

• Run grocery errands
• Deal with home/car maintenance problems
• Call insurance or hospitals for them (often easier if married)
• Pickup prescriptions
• Make meals and snacks or tea
• Research

In my experience, endometriosis seems really very exhausting, so finding a way to work harder or smarter so they can take it easier could be the tipping point for gaining some momentum. At the end of the day, we all want to find relief, comfort, and be able to enjoy daily life.

I hope that at least one of these tips helps you and your endo warrior survive and thrive on your journey. There is a lot to learn and even more to be discovered when it comes to endometriosis in the scientific world. But I hope at the very least we can learn to better care for those fighting to feel normal compared to what daily symptoms they may have. If you are looking for more articles check out our Blog page here, but if you are looking to find all sorts of endometriosis resources like podcasts, books, articles, YouTube videos, and more check out our Endometriosis Data Base here.

psst! Looking for endometriosis resources? Check out our Research page for all sorts of endometriosis resources for your endo journey.